The Key to Real Growth: Getting Comfortable with Discomfort 

Voice on the phone (VOP): “Mineela, I’m calling from the TEDx committee.” 

Me: “Oh...?” 

VOP: “You were nominated by one of the employees to be a speaker at the upcoming TEDx event.” 

Wait. What? This has got to be a joke. 

Me: .... 

VOP: If you would like to accept the invitation, we would need your topic outline by Monday. 

It’s Friday! You want me to stand on a stage on a red dot that looks like a target?! I can’t do that! 

Me: Sure. Send me the details and I’ll have something for you by Monday. 

I hung up the phone... 

...and started to hyperventilate. 

Clearly, I am a just rip the band-aid off kind of woman. 

So, why did I say yes? 

Ironically, because that was my year of “yes”. I had made the resolution to say “yes” to anything (within reason) that frightened me – especially if it had to do with speaking and being visible. 

Let’s face it. Real growth is not comfortable. It’s not the serene, Instagram-worthy journey the motivational posters make it out to be.  

Growth is awkward. 

It’s messy.  

It’s that weird, pins-and-needles sensation when your leg falls asleep, except it’s happening in your entire life. 

So, why on earth would anyone willingly walk into the situation I had just agreed to? 

Am I just a glutton for punishment? 

Maybe a little, but that’s beside the point. 

I did it because, in addition to it being my "yes" year, I learned early in my life, if I wanted to learn or accomplish anything, I had to get comfortable with discomfort. 

What I knew when I was young was that discomfort is where the magic happens.  

Growth doesn’t hang out in the cozy corner of your comfort zone. 

It’s lounging in the strange shadowy corner we would all like to avoid. 

In this instance, my place of discomfort was the 1,600 seat Paramount Theatre in New Jersey. 

Preparation for the TEDx was a whirlwind.  

I was assigned a speaker coach, a writing coach, and a speaker angel (the one who would hold the bucket in case my lunch came up backstage). There was a bootcamp where we learned the art of managing our anxiety, how to “speak our punctuation”, how to memorize our speeches, body language (I’m a pacer and had to learn to move less), voice inflection (from actors), and what to do with my hands. 

That whole experience taught me a lot about meeting challenges head on. 

Acknowledge the Awkwardness 

Growth isn’t going to feel graceful. You’re going to fumble. You’ll feel like a baby giraffe trying to stand on wobbly legs, and occasionally, you’ll want to scream into a pillow (I did).  

But the secret is that that's exactly where you need to be. 

When you feel awkward, when things are hard, it’s because you’re challenging yourself.  

I was in uncharted territory.  

However, if everything in life felt easy and breezy, it’s likely I would still be treading water; not swimming toward anything new.  

Not to say coasting is bad - it has its moments. 

 But I wanted more.  

And, if you’re here, reading this, it’s because you’re also after something more, right? 

Redefine Discomfort as Progress 

We tend to look at discomfort as a “bad” thing – a cosmic punishment for stepping out of line.  

What would happen if you viewed it as a sign that you're moving in the right direction? 

Think about it.  

When your muscles burn during a workout, you don’t throw in the towel and say, “Well, guess I’m not meant to be fit.”  

You push through because that burn means you’re getting stronger.  

It’s the same with life. 

If you feel out of your depth at work, congratulations - you’re learning. If you’re stumbling through a tough conversation, good for you - you’re developing emotional resilience. 

Discomfort is your body’s way of signaling growth, not failure.  

The next time you feel the discomfort of challenge creeping up, don’t shrink away. 

 Lean in. That’s where the real progress lives. 

Ditch the Perfectionism 

Personally, I don’t like to stumble and fumble. I hate when others are witness to my faltering, false starts, and awkwardness. 

But here’s the thing. 

Perfectionism isn’t your friend. The act of seeking perfection has failure baked right into it by its very definition. Because humans are never perfect, you will fail even before you start. 

Perfectionism is the annoying voice that keeps you from trying new things because you’re too scared to fail. It keeps you in place, looking good but staying stuck and boring. 

Instead, focus on making progress, no matter how small.  

Each awkward step forward is still a step.  

And let me tell you - perfection is highly overrated.  

People who embrace their quirks and imperfections are way more interesting than those who act like they have it all figured out. 

And I am really quirky! 

Get Comfortable with Failing Forward 

Society has done us a huge disservice by making failure this looming, scary thing to be avoided at all costs. In fact, we have a very conflicted relationship with failure.

While the message is that failure is good and the instruction is to “fail fast”, no-one ever runs proudly and joyfully through the corridors at work with a broad smile on their face, yelling, “I failed! Isn’t it great?!” 

No-one likes to fail, especially in front of others. 

But, if you understand that failure is necessary for growth, your whole life will get much easier.  

In fact, failure is one of the best teachers you’ll ever have. 

When (not if) you fail (because, yes, it is an inevitable part of life), you get valuable information. You learn what works and, more importantly, what doesn’t. That’s the process of failing forward. You gather your intel, adjust your approach, and keep moving.  

The only way failure wins is if you let it knock you out of the game entirely. 

Wear your failures proudly. They’re badges of honor, proof that you’re in the arena, trying, learning, and getting better every time.  

And believe me, failing forward is a heck of a lot more productive than standing still out of fear. 

Surround Yourself with Growth-Oriented People 

You know that saying about being the sum of the five people you spend the most time with? 

 Well, there’s some truth to that. 

If you want to get comfortable with discomfort, it helps to be around people who are already there. You want friends who challenge you, who make you think, who pick you up when you fall without judgement, who hold your hair away from your face when the nausea hits, and who will lovingly call you out when you start playing small. 

These are the folks who won’t let you back down when things get tough.  

They’ll remind you why you started, help you refocus when the going gets rough, and probably push you a little further than you thought you could go. Their energy is contagious, so choose your crew wisely. 

The Bottom Line 

Growth and discomfort are a package deal. You can’t have one without the other.  

It’s like peanut butter and jelly, coffee and cream, yin and yang.... 

You get the picture. 

The sooner you accept that discomfort is part of the process, the quicker you’ll start to see real change. 

The next time you find yourself knee-deep in something that makes you feel a little queasy or out of place, take a deep breath.

Remind yourself that this awkward, uncomfortable moment is not a sign that you’re failing.

It’s a sign that you’re growing.  

And when you make it through to the other side, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come - stronger, wiser, and a little more capable than before. 

Now go on, get cozy with that discomfort.

Your future self is going to love you for it.